Anyways, during the break I was pretty entertained most of the time. During the first week, I experianced the famous Carnival! I went to the main Carnival at night (which was super fun, with the lights and the loud music) where everyone dresses up and dances around, and I also went to the Bataille de Fleurs (Battle of Flowers) where these beautiful floats made out of all real flowers throw out flowers for people to catch. It was exciting to fight for a bouquet of flowers and I'm proud to say I did catch a few!! I also went to the final closing ceremony of Carnival, in which they light fireworks over the ocean and play some music. It was absolutely beautiful seeing the fireworks light up the ocean while we sat on the beach eating dinner.
Also during the break I hung out with friends a few times, which felt nice. We went to the beach and out to lunch. Going to the beach in Nice is usually what friends and I do, or we go shopping. I also went to Cannes, where the Cannes Film Festival is held (which I will be attending later on), and it was beautiful! The beach was not much different from the one in Nice, except for the fact that it was a sandy beach, and not rocky. Cannes overall isn't extremely different from Nice. It is just much more rich (as in many rich people everywhere), and has a nice sandy beach. At first I went to Cannes with a friend and my host sister, then the next day my family and I took a small boat out to an island off of Cannes called Les Iles de Lérins where they make very expensive wines (Chardonney, Syrah, Pinot Noir) that were about 230 euros a bottle!! Besides the expensive wines, the island was extremely beautiful! It was super green with a gorgeous beach that had crystal blue water. There were many boats by the island with people swimming or fishing around them. It was a relaxing, and beautiful little trip. :)
So vacation was extremely fun, and very relaxing. It was nice to have a break from school even though I hadn't been in school for that long... I think the first weeks of school were the hardest because of the language barrier and all. Where as now I am just getting more used to it, and being able to speak french MUCH better definitely helps because I can actually understand a lot of what the teacher says now. I am now actually able to participate, and discuss certain small topics with the class.
BUT as far as actually LIKING school... it's okay. I do think I had much more motivation to go to school in Bend than here though. Thats probably because in Bend I could actually do work I usually enjoy, and I have a great group of friends I got to see everyday. Here, I have to wake up super early, and go to a classroom filled with people I barely know and sit for hours listening to a teacher talk and write on the board about stuff I barely understand. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy listening to french, and I am trying extremely hard everyday, and it's not BAD at all. It's just hitting me that this is actually hard... and it's not going to get easier very soon.
I think when I first got here I always expected the difficulties, and I knew school was going to be hard, but I also knew that it would get easier. And I think I told myself a bit too often that it was going to get easier after the first month or so. But no. It might never get easier. I have a good 12 or so weeks left of school all together, and I think in some ways it will get easier, but overall it's going to be a good challenge everyday. The students in my class just got their grades back and more than half of them did very bad. So if they're struggling, then I don't think this will ever be "easy" for me. But as always, I am going to try my hardest everyday.
As far as friends go, I am doing good! But I've kinda of realized I don't constantly need people around me to be happy. I am not worried about making great, strong friends or not while I'm here, although I am glad I have met many people.
France is nothing like the USA or Argentina or Latin America in general where the girls and boys my age LOVE going out. When I went to school in Argentina, all the girls wanted to hang out the first day I got there. And everyone goes dancing or they hang out every weekend. And in the USA, well I have my friend group. So I am constantly with friends.
Here, no one really does much outside of school. It's not only me, but most girls here just go straight home after school or hangout with their boyfriends or family on the weekends. Maybe it's because it's not summer yet, or maybe it's because the school days are so long, or maybe it's just because it's a different culture overall. But, don't get me wrong. I'm not a loner who has no friends either. I eat lunch with friends, I've hung out with people, and I get along with everyone in my class. But I am definitely more alone here than I ever have been anywhere else. And honestly, it doesn't bother me one bit.
My whole life I have been constantly with people around me. My family, and my friends most of the time. When I got here, it took me sometime to realize I am all alone. I am not with my family, nor my friends. Nor am I in my usual routine.
Sometimes I enjoy being alone, but other times I really miss my life back home. As hard as this can be at times, I can feel myself becoming a much more mature, and strong girl. Of course there are those times where I miss my family so much that I just wish I was home, there are also times in school where I get sad because I miss my friends and I miss my schooling system. Sometimes I even miss the ice cold days in Bend that I usually hate. But I keep thinking to myself that this is going to make me a stronger person, even if I don't realize it right now, and I want to be able to look back at this experience and say, "gee that was SO AWESOME!"
It's almost been two months that I've been away from home, so the homesick feeling comes and goes more often than before. But that doesn't mean I am not enjoying it here. I am so thankful for being here. And I am very grateful for my lovely host family, who make me feel at home, and who take very good care of me. I get along with both my host sisters very well, and my host little brother is super cute. My host parents make me feel safe and comfortable here as well, which is something I need being so far away from home.
I only have 4 months left here (maybe 3 months until I see my family!) so I know I better enjoy every moment of it, since time will fly by. Especially seeing that these last two months or so have flown by.
I love France, and I know I am going to miss it when I leave. I love living by the ocean, and I love speaking french. No matter how much I miss Bend, and no matter how many times I say Bend is my home, I know that this is my home as well. I have many "homes" now. I have many places where I have loved ones, and where I have friends and family. There are many places in the world that I miss. But I am enjoying everyday of France, and I will enjoy everyday of any "home" I live in.
Au revoir toute le monde!! Bisous!!
Hannah :)
